I feel I'm a great sharer. I'll give you anything I have, even if I'm using it. I have been known to buy things that I would never use, like scrap booking items, just in case one of my friends needed it at some random moment. I love to share, but there are a few things I would like to myself.
I have used the excuse of drinking dt. coke because it's something I can't share with my kids. I already give them everything, and that seemed to be the only thing I didn't have to share. Now that Tyler has had a few cokes in his short life time, he seems to feel entitled to MY special sanity drink. I knew this day would come, but I don't know that I'm really ready for it. It makes my stash disappear faster, it's not healthy for him and now Patch cries all the time for a soda (not that he has dt. coke, he just wants a soda because I have one). It's really ruining this for me.
I should be happy that they are helping me kick the dt. coke habit, right? I'm not. I feel my choice to indulge is being taken away because I need to set a good example for my kids.
Then there's running. I've been enjoying this sport for a little over a year now and it's something I do early enough in the morning that I can keep it to myself. It has been a sacrifice at times, but one that I was happy to make.
My kids have on and off begged for a run with mom. I get it, they just want to hang out with the greatest mom ever. When I do let them tag along it turns in to one frustrating, resentful moment for me. I don't want to share my runs! This is when I get to be with my friends, my thoughts, my freedoms. Is it so wrong that I don't want to share this joyous time in my day?
I want to be with my kids and involve them in the things that make me happy, just like I want to do things with them that make them happy.
I know it sounds so selfish. I don't think I'm a very selfish person and I really feel bad for feeling this way. I also know it's good as a mother to have something for myself, but this is a healthy habit that I should be sharing with my kids while they're interested.
Why do my kids have to love me so much?!
3 comments:
So Em, I love that you are even willing to share your "you" moments with them! That's why we have them, right?
I am not as sharing as you because I drink soda and they don't because I'm an adult and they will get to choose when they are older AND sometimes they don't want Mommy around them when they are doing their "own" thing so I think Mommy gets to do her her "one" thing that makes you really you.
I am so selfish and I want to be more like you!!
Having a "MINE" thing really sux when you're the only woman in the house. I've chosen the toilet. I have actually cried and felt violated when entering a bathroom only to find sprinkles all over the seat! I don't care how bad I have to go and how long I've already been procrastinating it, I. WILL. HUNT. YOU. DOWN. and make you clean it up before I use it!
I used to feel selfish about special (read: expensive!) food-type treats too. I'd buy my premium version of something and then I'd get the kids some real cheapo version of it until I realized, it's just food. What makes me so much more deserving of this special thing than them? (in this case) Nothing. So now I just never have special treats or plan on sharing when I do.
You're a great mom, Sis. That's why they always want you!!
Your running and your dt coke should be your thing.
Do your run in the morning like you have been, and if your kids insist on wanting a run with you, go for a mini-run in the afternoon - with the understanding that it's going to be frustrating. But at least if you've gotten in your good, mind-clearing run in the morning, you will be calmer about taking a kid with you.
And don't even get me started on the diet coke issue. Sharing that is an absolute non-starter. I think that it is perfectly acceptable to say "I'm the adult, and I can have this and you can't." :)
You're awesome. As always, such an inspiration to me.
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