Hard Knock Life

It's been a little crazy around here lately. Nothing out of the norm. The last couple of weeks I've noticed Patch sliding back down to grumpy spells and anger issues. We never know how he's going to be. It just makes me sad. Sad that I don't know what to do for him, sad he has to feel the way he does, sad I can't predict all the time when he's going to have an episode and sad for his siblings who don't fully understand why their brother is so mean and doesn't get beaten when he probably should (not that we really beat our kids).

This is something I think about 24/7 and with Patch starting school next week I have lots of mixed emotions. I am super excited to have him start, I'm also probably overly worried about the "what if's". I just don't know that I'm ready to handle all of this. (I just spelled of 'ov', I must need a nap).

Today was Alexa's second day of school and she's on full melt down mode. I don't think I was ready for that which really scares me for when Patch hits day 2 of school and has melt downs.

Poor Alexa is not used to going to bed early or getting up early. My fault, I know. She's not used to paying attention all day. What she has been doing for the last 6-7 weeks out of school is making it a goal to stay in her pajamas all day, lounge around and eat whenever she wants. It's very easy when you have 4 kids plus all their friends running in and out all day to lose sight of who's doing what and who ate when.

Now she's in school for 7 hours, fully dressed, having to work. That's gotta be rough, I should have prepared her better. Plus, sometimes I lose sight of what the other kids are going to because I'm working on the Patch puzzle.

Parenting is hard. But I love it.