Both my oldest kids have boy/girl problems. I am NOT ready for this stage of parenthood. I am going to share as discretely as I can and ask for any advice you have to offer.
Tyler: He has this girl who has a major crush on him. He doesn't feel the same. This girl tells him all the time how cute he is, and apparently she stares at him all day which really embarrasses him. I know I can't control this girl (who's really cute and I really like, by the way) and her outward affection toward Tyler. The problem is (other than the embarrassment) the girls friends are now kicking Tyler and telling him he's a jerk because he told the girl to leave him alone. They write him nasty notes in class and yell at him at recess.
I have told Tyler he needs to be nice and make sure he doesn't offend this crush, girls don't bounce back well. I just don't know how to get the friends from being so mean to him.
THEN THERE'S CAELY
My poor 2nd grader. Caely has a crush on this boy, R. I'm pretty sure R has NO clue. R is another really sweet, handsome boy. I'm impressed with my kids choices so far. Anyhow, one of Caely's supposed to be good friends told everyone at church and school that Caely likes another boy, S. Today at school Caely's good friend told S that Caely likes him and he came over and punched Caely in the stomach. WHAT???? She feels betrayed by her friend, and she's sad this boy hurt her. All these kids happen to go to school and church with Caely, so what is she supposed to do? I'm really disappointed that S hit her. He's a good kid, but being mean like that does not fly well with me.
Caely got in the car from school and told me she now hates these friends. Such strong feelings for just the start of a life time of hurt. Do I call moms? Do I let them work it out and learn? Do I talk to the teacher? This is so hard. I also can't decide if I have Caely stop playing with this girl friend that hurt her. They all play in a group of friends, and this one friend is causing major drama between everyone. I just want to protect my baby!
So, now you know the drama. Any advice will help!!!
6 comments:
Oh dear are we really getting to this stage? Kelsy just came home with boy stuff today..anyway. So I don't have a lot of advice for this little comment board but I had some MAJOR issues in elementary school. And as far as I know my mom didn't get involved, I never asked her to and I don't know if it would have made a difference. I think that I grew from working a lot of my own challenges out? Who knows though maybe things could have been better? Sorry I am not helping much!
Ok, I think I agree with Connie. Getting involved (other than that punching incident - that seems a bit extreme) wouldn't really solve anything. And may just create more embarrassment for the kids.
But I do think I just might say something about the punching, just because that's SO not appropriate. But probably just to the teacher (if you think that she'd respond).
I'm pretty much a "work it out as best you can" kind of mom. Unless it gets really out of control, I don't know what else you would do...
Good luck!
My advice. Tell Caely to take "S" down. Kick em where it hurts! ha ha
No seriously I would stay out of it. You've got great kids and as long as you keep making sure they know it, it will all work itself out. Friends come and go and break some hearts on the way but that is what builds character in all of us. Tylers a tough dude and he'll find a way to work it out. I mean Chris is his dad, Mr. calm. Caely well I see why you feel badly but she is also a tough cookie and one that everyone will want to be her friend so that friend that betrayed her, we'll she'll come around and if not... who needs her. :)
Some serious depth from a mom with zero school age kids. Good luck!
I say stay out of it and offer them advice, but let them handle it on their own. You have good kids and learning to work out their problems will help them too.
The Tyler issue. I think he did the right thing. Girls are mean. They are probably doing it as much to get a reaction than anything else, so I'm sure it will stop soon.
The Caely issue. Being a Mom of an 8-year-old boy, they just don't really know how to express themselves. I don't know this boy, but that was probably his way of telling her to leave him alone.
Fischer has a girl that likes him, but he just kind of ignores it and tries to not let it bother him. The things my kids tell me happen at recess are amazing. I know that some of it should be disciplined, but really, if Caely's ok, then I would let it go. If it happens again, that's another problem.
Don't you remember how grandma told us if a boy hits you (at school! not in life) it means he likes you? What a load of crap!
Caely's friend is probably jealous of her and that's why the drama, but if there's anything good that can be found in what happened, at least the "friend" didn't tell everyone about the boy Caely really likes!
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