Here's Our Little Secret...

well, it's not really a secret, just some info on the Kesten's and our crazy life. It's gonna be a long one.

As you all know, Patch has been one of the hardest joys of our lives. This last October he finally hit a wall so hard, we've all been affected. His "fits" have turned unbearable, and his melt downs more frequent. He is terrified of going outside by himself, being left in the house/car/bathroom/bedroom/anywhere where he can't see you. Literally terrified.

After one particularly hard day, I was on the phone with a friend, holding back the tears and anger, while she just listened to my sob story. She then offered her doctorly advice and put me on the right track to realizing that Patch's behaviors aren't "normal" and that I should have him checked out for something called Sensory Processing Disorder . She sent me a book, and gave life changing advice. I then shared that with another friend because I was so overjoyed that things might be able to change for my family in such a positive light. This second friend was familiar with SPD and also shared her knowledge, a book, and hope for our family.

Last month I took Patch to the pediatrician, who in turn sent us to a child psychologist/therapist. I visited with her for an hour and told her all of the horror stories I could remember (which wasn't hard). She was very nice and suggested we change Patch's diet to see if we noticed a change. We didn't. I figured we wouldn't, really. It was worth looking into though.

Tonight we met with her again, and Patch got the chance to visit with her. He told her all kinds of things, like that our house is scary because there are ghosts and monsters in the walls and under his bed. He told her about his dreams where the Princess kills Mario (he just started playing the DS) and he has to start the game again, over and over, all night long. That very much explains his nightmares for the last three years. He sang her the pretty song, twice. He also drew pictures of ghosts, our TV and the remote control.

Because his fears started around October, the therapist figures Halloween triggered his fears deeper and that's why he's fascinated with scary things. He's always been like this, it just got worse in October.

I feel bad our house is scary to him, but it's not just our house. He comes home from friends/family and makes up scary stories about them too. He only goes to friends houses if I take him, and it's usually to one of my friends that he's around all the time. He hasn't left the house on his own for weeks, until today.

Yesterday a neighbor boy came over and played. It was SO nice to hear Patch laugh with a buddy. It brought such joy to my heart. He laughs, but not like he does when he's with friends. Then, today a few friends came by and they had so much fun running around the house. They played hide-and-seek, cars/trains, and whatever else little boys play. At one point there were three friends over, which usually is too much for Patch to handle, but he did great.

He then got invited to another friends house, and he went! Never mind that Alexa had to go with him, and walk him down. He still left the house and went somewhere that he doesn't normally go.

If he really is an SPD kid, then it explains so much of his aggression and sensitivity. His inability to handle when a friend touches him too rough or yells at him. Or his inability to deal with me when I'm upset with him, for that matter.

In the last three months, we've really worked on helping Patch cope and calm down when it's too much for him. I'm hoping we can get him functioning so he's past his fears and will one day soon play outside without me hanging over him. I can't even get him to go next door without a companion.

Well, that's our newest news. We still have lots of hard days, it just makes it easier to deal with when I understand what I'm dealing with.