Most people tell me what an adorable kid Patch is. Let me tell you, at our house, that is not the case. Every day I have to put myself in check to make sure I am calm enough to deal with him. He hits his siblings all the time, to the point of tears. He screams. He pees his pants. He wakes up all night. He is terribly afraid of the dark. He also has a hard time focusing on the task at hand, which means he hardly EVER does what he's asked. I know it's not very nice to point out these faults, and one day they will pass. But it's been almost 4 years of this hard kid.Today I spanked Patch. We/I really try to find something more productive than spanking, it's not his first but I hope it was his last. I don't find enjoyment in hurting my kids, I just lost it today.
My day started like this: Wake-up at 4:30 to enjoy a morning at the temple with wonderful friends. Got home to run with more wonderful friends AND had a great run. Got home to a grumpy hubby (little sleep, working hard) and needed to shower so I could get Patch ready for school, drop off one kid, pick up two (at two different places) and head to the school to set up book fair.
As I was getting ready, I got Patch's clothes out and asked Caely to dress him to save me a little time. He had already hit her while I was on my run earlier. While I blow dried my hair, Caely came in crying because this little boy hit her. I talked to Patch and went back to get ready, when not 3 minutes later he hurt her again. I had it. Yes, I realize I had a lot on my plate, but I wasn't letting that get to me. It's how mean this beautiful, funny, smart little boy is to the people who love him and help him that gets me so riled up.
I spanked him. Hard.
He cried. A lot.
I felt terrible. ALL.DAY.LONG
After I spanked him, I left him in his room while I finished getting ready (5 min.) and then went and had a rational talk with him, well as rational as a 3yr old can be. I apologized, I know hitting is wrong and doesn't teach anything. I just felt out of options at that moment.
Shortly after all this, he went to school for 2 hours. When he came home, he didn't even make it a 1/2 hour before he again hit someone.
One of the hardest things is, the other kids have to see and deal with all this. They hear the yelling (which I have been working on because that too doesn't help). They are the one's who are getting hurt or have to hear him scream because they might have accidentally touched one of his toys. It's waring on all of us. I'm just not sure how to help him.
So, there you have it. Thanks for the vent, I feel better.
Other than all of that short little stint in our day, we really had a great day. The kids played with friends, the older girls did a craft. I'm still feeling good from my morning, thankfully! And Chris came home happy.
8 comments:
I totally feel you, Natalie is just like that. She will be four in January, and I can't seem to get through to her. She has been like this as long as I can remember, she does things just to bug her sisters and she hits me and them and she doesn't listen or make changes no matter how many times I talk to her. She can be so frustrating and also so darn cute that I have a hard time getting upset with her. If you figure something out, let me know your secret!
Yes I do want to know that other moms have it as hard as me and I'm not alone. So far my girl's horrific three's have been much worse than terrible two's. And right now the whiny four's aren't much better. Hang in there!!!
I know you won't believe me but my cute Nick really was that bad. Nobody believed us but those that happened to be around. I actually bungie corded his door shut one day because he kept coming out and hurting somebody and the screaming from him was so loud I couldn't stand it. Luckily he has kind of grown out of it. I have little advise to give you, after all he is 6 years old and still wets his pull up everynight and then sits and eats breakfast with it on and lets it soak thru to his pajamas. Yep and it doesn't even bother him. But, Hang in there and send him over anytime...it will get better!
yeah, i got nothing.
Well, not really. I don't have the magic answer to get Patch's behavior under control, but just an offer of hope. As long as you consistently and repeatedly teach him that these behaviors are not okay, he WILL grow out of it. The biggest thing is to never give up or give in just because you're tired and don't want to deal with it...(I'm talking to myself as much as to you - yeah - sophie...sigh).
And don't be too hard on yourself. We ALL have moments where we lose it and react badly. At least you went in and talked it out with him after the heat of the moment was passed.
You're awesome, and I'm glad that even though you had some hard things about your day, the rest was fun and that Chris came home happy.
I feel for you, I have ohh soooooo much to say about one of my dear little ones. These kids try to get you to be insane. I have been there too, ok I am still there. IF you ever need to vent or hear more worse horror stories give me a call.
I am soooooo sorry! What is it with #4? Hopefully as he reaches his 4th birthday things will start to straighten out. Bree has really mellowed out just in the last couple of months. She has become a joy to be around.....I hope Patch can find a happy place....it's out there.....you'll all make it. Good Luck!!!!
I feel your pain, Katelyn was my easy little girl, McKayla turns 3 on December 1 and I'm ready to give her a way, I love her to death but there are days I don't want to be her mommy, and I feel it's only going to get worse before it gets better. I just hope Dallin is like Katelyn and is good nature because I can't handle another child like McKayla.
My mom always tells me McKayla is only half what I was, but I don't think I was that bad. . .can't wait until they are in their teens.
Cute Patch! I'm sorry! I totally understand though. My number four has been soooo hard and soooo mean. She has gotten way better as she has gotten older and understands. Just to let you know, as you already said, he is so good at school. He's cute, he's friendly, he's happy, he's a sharer, he's a helper, and I really enjoy him. If he can be that good, you know he'll grow out of it and become someone GREAT! What other choice does he have with you as a mother and a dad who is there for him! Hang in there, its only a matter of TIME.
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